When I asked you ladies for the topics and themes you wanted me to cover in “Girl Talk” cheating was definitely a recurring subject in the messages I received. There was one question that especially hit me hard.
“My boyfriend cheated on me, should I forgive him?”
To answer this question I feel it’s best for me to share my personal experience. Many, many, many years ago I had a partner who I NEVER thought would be unfaithful. He had a very important position in society to the point that his reputation was admired by many. Honestly, I thought he was madly in love with me too.
Finding out he was cheating was the worst experience for me. After he had left my house one night I realized he had left his digital recorder. I immediately called him because I knew it was important to him. His quick response was “Thanks for letting me know and please don’t hear anything on it.” Ok…….if a guy tells a girl not to do something you better be sure she’s going to do it. So, I locked myself in my room and began to hear his recorder. To my surprise it wasn’t his voice on the audio but of another woman. This woman was professing her love and detailing intimate moments they had together. Her words, “When you touched me.”, “I am completely yours.”, “I belong to you; heart and body”…….those words burned deep into my mind. My legs began to shake and I collapsed to the floor feeling broken. I cried uncontrollably than the anger set in. I picked myself up, grabbed the phone and called him. When I told him what I had heard he began to cry and continuously asked for forgiveness but for me it was over. No number of sorries could ever win my trust back. To me knowing he had sex with someone else was just unforgivable. As time passed he continued to try and win my heart back. Even to a level where he asked me to marry him. The last time we spoke I remember him saying that I was going to regret the decision I made but I never did.
After that heartbreak it was very difficult for me to ever trust again. My heart was completely hardened. As time past by the roots of anger grew deeper within me. Why am I confessing this? Well, because yes you should forgive him. Forgiveness is for YOU not for him. Forgive him and move on. Forgiveness liberates your heart and brings you peace. Don’t hold onto bitterness and anger as I did. When someone breaks your heart trust is shattered. I strongly believe that when someone cheats they can do it again. Forgiving him does not mean you give him your heart again. If he hurt and disrespected you he is not worthy of your heart.
Heartbreak is the worst. When you give your heart away you trust that person to care for it. Don’t let that bad experience get you down. Sooner or later you will find someone that will truly value and love you completely. In the mean time enjoy being single. Go out with your friends and have fun, conquer your goals and rediscover yourself.
Be You, Be Lovely
Charlene Gonzalez
What do you think?